What Makes You a Man
September 3, 2024
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Another one from the Archives.
By Khaos
When he got to his aunts house he stopped in his tracks with a shiver partly from the cool air but mostly because he hadn't noticed how scary the old house looked on dark, starless, nights. He took a deep breathe, mustered his courage and ran for the door! The door was locked and her car wasn't there. Had he realize this was going to happen, he could have carried his key. As it was, it was conveniently locked in his bureau drawer.
'That's right, aunt Cecilia and Randy went to Gran's for the night, they won't be back til tomorrow. I know where I can stay.'
He thought silently but grinned through his tears for a second at his idea. The VanMason's! He was always welcome there! As he started off toward the VanMason's house the smell of wet dirt on the breeze hit his nose.
"Oh no... " he spoke to himself aloud "Its gonna rain..."
A couple of large drops hit his hair and he broke into a run but just as he reached the edge of the VanMason's yard the bottom fell out! Now he was soaked and still had a tree to climb and a window to crawl through.
Jason always kept his window unlocked just in case any of the other boys were in a jam and needed a place to go. They had even nailed boards to the tree outside his window to make a sort of latter to the thick branch that hung just over the part of the roof just under the window.
The thought of spending the night with Jason made him feel warm despite the cold rain but still the sting of his day just wouldn't go away. He made the climb without incident but the roof was slick from the rain and he nearly fell off. His skateboarding skills kicked in and he shifted his weight forward so instead of falling backward to the ground, he landed with a thud on the roof and scratched up his hands and knees on the shingles.
He crawled to the window with whimper and a couple of tears 'What else could go wrong? It'll be just my luck if the window is locked' He put a little pressure in an upward push and the window slid up.
Thank God it was opened as usual. He felt he couldn't take another disappointment tonight.
Jon crawled through the window onto Jason's desk, smearing a mix of blood, water and a mossy muck from the tree and shingles on it.
He set his back pack on the floor and stripped out of his wet clothes. Luckily his bag was waterproof. He slipped out into the hall to the bathroom and got cleaned up. His scrapes burned a little as he wiped them with the sanitary wipes, washing his hands stung too. When he had dried off he pulled on his fresh briefs and a tank top and tiptoed back down the hall.
When he got back to Jason's room he stood and watched him sleep for a minute. Jason looked so much younger when he slept maybe even a little cuter. Then he pulled back the sheet and slipped into the bed with his back to Jason who was already curved into a perfect spoon as if asking Jonathon to lay down and be held.
Jason's arms automatically wrapped around Jon in a tight. embrace like an ingrained reflex as he slid into place.
Jonathon sighed deeply. He needed that, the warm feel of Jason's arms. This is where he felt he belonged.
The one place he knew for sure he fit perfectly, with Jason. His head fit so neatly under Jason's chin and on Jason's left shoulder. His shoulders perfectly lined against Jason's ribs and his back against his belly. Hip to pelvis, the curve of their knees like a gloves and his feet atop Jason's feet. An absolutely perfect fit.
He snuggled in but as comfortable as he was he just couldn't sleep.
No matter how happy being with Jason made him, he still could not stop thinking about the events leading to his early trip home. The longer he lay there the more he thought about it causing all those horrible feelings to rush back so he just laid there and quietly cried.
Jason woke up around 2am to the feeling of body heat pressed against him.
He had been dreaming of holding Jonathon while they slept but when he opened his eyes he was startled to find his dream was real!
Perhaps the most confusing was he knew it could not be possible because Jonathon was supposed to be at his mother's for the weekend, yet here he lay wrapped up tight in his arms!
Jason sat up and looked down at Jon, expecting him to be asleep but what he found was a tear stained face looking up at him.
Johnathon rolled over and buried his face in Jason's chest, sobbing.
"What's wrong Jon, are you okay?"
But Jonathon was sobbing to hard to speak so Jason just held him tight and rubbed his back. "Its okay Jon, you're with me now." he kissed Jonathon's head, smelling the sweet sent of his silky blonde hair, then kissed his eyes as if to kiss the tears away.
Then he started playing with Jon's hair, instinctively knowing that this would soothe him.
Jonathon nuzzled his chest in response.
That was all he needed to finally fall asleep, a little conscious comfort from someone who cared about him.
Jason continued playing with Jon's hair until he too was fast asleep
The next morning they woke in a tangled up mess. Jason turned slightly and leaned forward for to say good morning, and kissed that beautiful forehead that lay next to his.
Jonathon stretched and yawned. His eyes still poofy and raw from crying.
"What's wrong Jon? Are you okay? " Jason said as he rubbed Jon's shoulders.
Jon looked down toward their feet. "Why don't they love me Jason? Why can't they love ME too like they love my sisters?"
The tears began to flow again but he managed to choke back the sobbing so he could speak. He told Jason everything, how his mom promised to spend the day with him, he had even gotten there early yesterday morning to make sure they'd have time but as usual she left him alone and tended to his little sisters while he was sent to play outside, alone in the yard and told not to come in until he was called for. His dad didn't even acknowledged he was there and his is older sister was out with her boyfriend all day. When she got home she barely said two words to him.
He hadn't even eaten supper because they had forgotten he was outside! He disobeyed and went inside because it had gotten dark and he found they had already eaten and gone to bed! So he got his bag, left a note on his bed and took the night bus home.
"There must be something wrong with me! They gave me away like a dog and now they ignore me worse than ever!" Jonathon sobbed but no tears come out. He had cried til he had no more tears to cry.
Jason didn't know what to say so he held him tighter in his arms for a moment to think. "Its okay Jon, even if no one else in the world does, I love you."
The weight of his own words caused Jason to gulp hard. He had finally done it. He told Jonathon how he felt.
His face turned red and his gut began to turn as he waited for Jon's response. "But how can anyone love me if even my own mom doesn't! Am I really so awful?" Jonathon either didn't pick up on what Jason said or he was to hurt to accept it.
Jason swallowed his fear and hugged him close again. "There's nothing wrong with you Jon, its them! Anyone would love you! You're... You're beautiful... Just beautiful. And I do love you!"
Jon turned to look at Jason, pain still streaked on his face. "I know you do, but why? Is it just because you think I'm 'beautiful'?"
Jason swallowed again, afraid to say the wrong thing. He reached for Jon's chin and held his face were he couldn't look away. This was it, the defining moment of truth that could change everything between them Jason thought and with a deep breath he answered. "Well, in a way. You're..." He was unable to finish as Jon jerked away, grabbed his backpack and ran for the door.
Even his closest friend only loved. him for something superficial! He ran down the stairs and out the door, right past Mrs. VanMason, who saw only a blond blur. 'Its true then, no one loves me for who I am. There is something wrong with me.' He thought as he opened the door, shot through the yard and down the street. He didn't know where he was going he just knew he wouldn't go back.
Jason ran down behind him, leaping down the stairs and almost made it when.
"Hold it right there young man!"
His mother didn't know what was going on but she knew something was up. "Why did Jonathon just go whizzing out my front door in his underwear and why are you after him like a dog chasing a cat?"
"Oh mom!" Jason jumped her arms and began to squall.
"There there my boy, it can't be all that bad. Now tell me what's wrong so we can fix it."
So he told her everything - well almost everything! He told her how Jon had left his mom's after the way they treated him and how Jon's aunt was out for the night so he came there to stay. "He asked me why they don't love him and I said something stupid and it hurt him more! I have to hurry and find him mom! I just have to fix it!"
Mrs. VanMason stroked her young sons hair. "Shh, calm down first love. You'll not do any good going to him in a panic." she wiped away his tears with one hand and held his chin with the other. "There, now that's better. You're right, you do need to fix this. Its not a hard thing, just tell him what you meant. He may not hear you out today but Jonathon will come around." She smiled and kissed his forehead. "Now, do you want me to drive you dear or do you want to do this on your own?"
On his own? She had never let him handle things like this on his own before. Could it be she knew how he felt about Jon or was it she realized he was growing up? It didn't matter at the moment though! Nothing was more important than finding Jon and explaining what he meant! "I'll go on foot, I need to do this on my own."
He turned for the door but...
"Change out of your sleep clothes before you leave son and I'll be here if you decide you need me. " Jason made the quickest wardrobe change of his life and ran out the door. He fought back the feelings of hopelessness as he ran faster than he ever had before. He wasn't sure how he knew where Jon had gone.
He didn't even think about it really, just let his feet take him where they wanted to go as if they knew the way.
He was coming up on the Creek where the old bridge was. Finally he stopped to breathe, completely out of breath. He didn't see Jonathon but somehow felt he was near. When he had caught his breath he just started talking as if he were looking Jon in the eye. "Jon... Jonathon, I know you're angry with me right now.
I didn't mean to hurt you. Please let me finish explaining my feelings. If you don't want to talk to me anymore after that, I'll understand but please let me explain."
Jason leaned his crossed arms onto the railing and pressed up against them as if hugging himself. "What I meant to say was I love you because you're beautiful. Not just beautiful on the outside but on the inside too!"
Jon still hadn't come out of hiding but Jason kept talking. "You're fun to be with, you're kind to everyone!
When you walk in a room everyone lights up because you make people happy just by being there!
No one can help but love you! Your parents are just too dumb to know how great and wonderful you are.
I know how wonderful, how beautiful you are because I can't stop thinking of you." He closed his eyes with a sigh and put his hand in his pockets. "I really care about you Jonathon McCollough! I will never, can never stop loving you!"
As he turned to leave he felt a hard embrace around his belly from behind. "I love you too Jason." Jason turned around and took Jon in his arms. They stood there hugging each other tight for what seemed like forever. It didn't seem to matter that the world around them was beginning to wake up. People coming outside to great the day with a morning jog or leaving for work.
"About time you two!" Fabian chuckled as he came out from behind a large tree.
"Don't tease them to much Fabi! We don't want them to go back to hiding their feelings!" Niklas said following behind.
"How long have you guys been there?" Jason asked as he turned to their friends, still leaving one around Jon's shoulder.
"Oh long enough! Don't worry, all you did was say what the rest of us already knew!" Niklas said walking over and placing a reassuring hand on Jason's right shoulder and Jon's left. "We were coming to get you when you ran out of your house. We called to you but you kept running. We knew something was wrong when you wouldn't answer us so we followed."
Jason looked at his friends then back at Jonathon.
"Ah... yeah, I kinda had tunnel vision!"
He pulled Jonathon close for another hug.
"Come on, we'll need to let your aunt know where you were last night." He said as he pulled Jonathon in the direction of home. Jonathon and Jason held hands the whole way to Jonathon's house. Fabian and Niklas following on either side of them.
Niklas and Fabian dropped Jason off at home so he could eat breakfast and tell his mom how things had gone. They agreed to meet Jason in one hour so they could play for a bit before going to help paint Jonathon's room.
"Come on, let's go to my house while we wait, I have an idea and I think you'll like it!" Niklas said as they picked their bikes up from Jason's driveway. They peddled quickly wasting no time talking. As the turned into Niklas's driveway they skid their bikes to the side and jumped into a run before the bikes even stopped.
They ran through the door and up the stairs making sure to avoid Tina who was sitting in the living room watching TV.
They zipped into Niklas's room and locked the door behind them. "It's about time," Fabian said. I'm not surprised about Jason telling Jonathon how he feels, but Jonathon responding in kind, that's been a long time coming. If they'd hugged each other any longer down by the creek I think they would have both suffocated or something!" Fabian had a distant look in his eye as he suddenly turned, without warning, accidentally sending both him and Niklas crashing onto Niklas's bed.
Fabian landed on top of Niklas and laid his head on Niklas's chest. They stayed that way for a few minutes then Fabian lifted up and pinned Niklas's hands to the bed.
"Well after you bowl me over like that don't I at least deserve an apology or.... or something?" Niklas's tone was questioning but the look on his face said demanding. "Or something?" Fabian answered with a light peck on the cheek!
"What was that! That's not even close to a good kiss!"
Fabian got up, pretending to ignore the question.
Niklas moved on with a huff.
"So I take it we're in agreement that Jason and Jonathon should be boyfriends? "
Fabian smiled and nodded in agreement. He knew from his tone Niklas had a plan. "What deviltry are you concocting Nikki?"
"We'll need help and a few supplies but I think we can mange. Here's the idea..." Niklas whispered in Fabian's ear just in case someone was listening in.
"I like it!" Fabian said, looking Niklas in the eyes, almost close enough to Niklas's to bump forheads. A mischievouos grin suddenly covered Niklas' face as he lightly brushed Fabian's lips with his own, snickering as he watched his surprised eyes get big, just as he expected. Sometimes he coudln't resist doing the unexpected, especially given such a clear opportunity and anyway, it was just too much fun seeing the reaction.
"Aren't we sneaky today..." Fabian teased.
"What? I thought that's what you were expecting!" Niklas said innocently.
"Sure you did," Fabian stated, while trying to surpress a smile. Niklas and Fabian sometimes expressed affection slightly differently, but he actually did think Niklas was nice. He gave Niklas' shoulder a squeeze before they silently agreed to go back down to the kitchen for breakfast.
Jason was still a little shook up by the events of the morning had brought. He still wasn't sure it was real!
When he had gotten back his mother had blueberry scones and tea waiting for him. Sniv had spent the night with Martin and Keith out at Davy's farm so it was just the two of them. This was one of the few times he wanted his brother to be home so he could talk to someone about the other happenings that he couldn't tell their mother, and Niklas and Fabian had left.
He explained what he could to his mother as he forced a scone down. It wasn't that his mom's cooking was bad, in fact she made the best backed goods of all the moms in their neighborhood, he just didn't have an appetite and his ability to taste had abandoned him. He kept daydreaming about that moment on the bridge and nearly spilt his tea all over his lap.
His mom pretended not to notice his absent-minded-ness and continued to talk. "See dear, I told you he'd come around. You be sure to tell his aunt she is very welcome, our house is always open to Jonathon. He's such a, delightful little lad!" Her gaze turned to a slight scowl as she cut her eyes at him. "Though next time you'd best wake me the moment you know he or any of the others are here."
Jason hadn't fully heard what she said. "Uh huh." Was the best she got out of him. He was still sitting at the table leaned on his elbow with his chin propped in his hand.
His eyes were glazed with a dreamy look and his cheeks were lightly rosy. "Well, I suppose it was late and you were thinking of me needing to sleep so I'll let it slide this time. But next time dear don't be afraid to wake me Ok?"
He made another grunt in response but still hadn't really heard her. Mrs. VanMason looked at her son and shook her head with a smile as she left him to his thoughts.
The End
Hi, my name is Niklas. I’m the one to the left with the blond hair and those goofy freckles. I’ll tell you in some cartoons and stories what happened after I told my best friends the truth. You should know, I love my friends, really! And guess what some of them, like Fabian and Jason, love me too! I always thought they’d say I’m weird, well, maybe we’re all weird.